A Question to Ponder

By Suzie Carr
@girl_novelist

A question to ponder: if you could give one thing that could make even a small difference, what would it be?

I tossed this question out to the masses last night and got several wonderful responses: A hug, the gift of being honest, time, and my favorite one – love and light.

When we give, we empower others, enrich lives, and spread joy. Giving takes on many forms. A gift of donating money to a worthy cause can be just as powerful as sharing a smile with someone who is having a bad day. The positive effect ripples and grows exponentially, spreading its roots deeper in areas that crave life, energy and the hope of a better day.

If we all gave a little something each day, the world, in its most basic spiritual sense, would be a better place. The spirit of giving is contagious. It magnifies a power that attracts more giving, thus completing a powerful circle. In giving, we open up to all sorts of positive vibes that have the power to touch countless people in ways we can’t even begin to describe. The gift of a smile can spread to thousands. The gift of sitting with an elderly patient can brighten spirits. The gift of blankets and kibble at an animal shelter can save countless of precious lives. The gift of a hug offers soulful nourishment.

When we give, we help others feel the beauty of peace, gratitude, and hope. Giving renews spirits, ours included. That, in and of itself, is a gift to the world. If we’re living in our best light, those around us benefit, too.

Speaking of giving, I can't forget to mention a beautiful blog I encountered yesterday that really encompasses the spirit of giving - www.sepisoul.com. Through her quotes, Sepi gifts us with inspiration, beauty, and food for thought on life's challenges. If you get a chance, I highly recommend checking out her site.

Here’s to shining our light onto the world!

Suzie Carr

I feel it's critical to support the community, and so I've committed to donate a portion of my book sale proceeds to the NOH8 Campaign (www.noh8campaign.com) and to Hearts United for Animals (www.hua.org) .

Check out my series of LGBT fiction.

The Power of a Mantra

by Suzie Carr

@girl_novelist

I work out most everyday, and most of these sessions are downright grueling. To get through them, I need to be present both physically and mentally. In fact, I think mental presence is more critical. I have those days when I trudge into my workouts with my head hung low, my mind in a fog, and my body refusing to push itself. 

Days like this, I dig deep into my mind and pull out my mantra, “I’m healthy and strong therefore I can do anything.” I repeat this mantra over and over again throughout the workout and to my surprise every time, it powers me with a strength that at times seems superhuman. 

Just for kicks, I tossed out a tweet asking others if they used a mantra to help them dig deeper and get them through their tough moments. I wanted to share some of these inspiring ones. I will be placing them in my reserve for those inevitable days when I will need one to give me that extra push to accomplish a workout, an assignment, a scene, or any of the hundred to-do items I usually tackle on any given day! 

Here they are:

• “Clear your mind, center your soul." 
• "Nothing is happening TO you. Things are just happening."
• "Be bold and mighty forces will come to your aid." Basil King 
• “I am whole, perfect, strong, powerful, loving, harmonious, happy, healthy, wealthy, and so thankful for all gifts my life.”
• "I am not afraid of tomorrow, because I have seen yesterday and I LOVE today!"
• “You will never get what you want as long as you’re jealous of what other people have.” 
• “If you cannot believe in yourself ... you cannot believe in anything”
• "Even if you cut off my arms, I will still create art.”
• “Forward momentum - something is better than nothing”
• “I'm learning and Listening Everyday Therefore I can keep hope.”
• "Thy Will be Done."
• ‎"Don't underestimate the importance of attempting the impossible and falling short of the mark; in so doing you prepare the ground, and earn the right, to attempt the impossible and succeed!"
• ‎"Remember to listen: you are always guided if you ask for help."

Do you use a mantra to get you through those tough moments? Feel free to share. Let's inspire each other! 

Wishing you ultimate success in all you do, 

Suzie 

I feel it's critical to support the community, and so I've committed to donate a portion of my book sale proceeds to the NOH8 Campaign (www.noh8campaign.com) and to Hearts United for Animals (www.hua.org) .

Check out my series of LGBT fiction.

The Secret to Real Progress

By Suzie Carr
@girl_novelist

We all have things we want to accomplish. We set out with great intention only to be sidetracked by our psyche urging us to turn the other way and enjoy the lure of things within easy reach instead. Maybe it’s that we want to be savvier with our money or get into better shape or gain more knowledge so we can prosper in our careers. These things all take time, focus, and drive. They require a significant amount of patience and motivation to acquire.

Short cuts just seem easier, don’t they? 

We’re all smart enough to know that to make any real progress, we must do the work. We can’t expect to run a company successfully without first acquiring the skill sets. We can’t expect to have a bestselling novel without first putting in the long hours of writing the book. We can’t expect to have healthy bodies without first treating our bodies with the respect of good nutrition and sensible exercise routines.

The reality then is that we need to work to get ahead on those things that we deem important.

As with any new venture, we set out on new goals fueled with what seems like a super human power. We might spend hours writing some fabulous scenes, reading a book on finance, or tackling the first week of a grueling exercise program. We feel on top of our game, fueled by euphoria from the first scene that took us on a glorious ride, from the first stock papertrade that went well, or from the first inch lost on our waistline.

Then, week two comes around and we find ourselves tempted to let the firm focus grip slide a little. Our old habits are staring us in the face begging for attention. To break an old habit, we need a sticking motivation something that will stand firm in the face of temptation.

A powerful motivator is usually an emotional one.

For instance, when it comes to my health, the drive is deeply rooted in a promise I made to myself after a great friend passed away 2 years ago. I will never again take my health for granted. He died of cancer too early in life and he would've given anything to have a healthy body. I have one, so I'm constantly reminded that I have to treat it with respect. It's almost like if I don't, then I'm disrespecting his battle. This is strong motivation for me tied inextricably to my emotions.

We’re all motivated differently. To find success, we must discover what makes us tick. If we don’t know yet what that thing is that’ll keep us strong in the face of adversity, we need to vigilantly keep searching for it.

Here’s one way: Reach out to others who are role models and doing what you want to be doing. Find out what keeps them focused and see if it mirrors your philosophies and touches you on an emotional level.

Never give up on your journey to discover the power that resides within you. It’s in all of us. 

Wishing you ultimate success in all you do,

Suzie Carr

I feel it's critical to support the community, and so I've committed to donate a portion of my book sale proceeds to the NOH8 Campaign (www.noh8campaign.com) and to Hearts United for Animals (www.hua.org) .

Check out my series of LGBT fiction.

What's Your Fuel?

By Suzie Carr
@girl_novelist

As a novelist, I’m always interested to learn what motivates people to go beyond their comfort levels to that place where real growth happens. When creating characters, I enjoy learning lessons through them. What makes them act the way they do? Why do they care so deeply for certain things? How did they become so cynical, so happy or so fearful?

We’re all driven by different things. Our past experiences shape the way we view the world and the way we interact with others. We all come equipped with driving forces that dig deep and push us to or pull us away from defining moments.

I’m driven by the word CAN’T. When someone tells me I can’t do something, I do it double-time.  The reason for this motivation digs deep.

When I was in kindergarten and sitting in a circle for story time, a girl bullied me. Each time I’d raise my hand to answer a question, she’d hit me. After several grueling rounds of this, I stopped raising my hand and eventually lost all confidence to speak to anyone but my best friend, Todd, and my immediate family members. For two years, I spoke only to them.

Bribed with adventures and treats that would make any well-adjusted child leap for joy, I turned my back on any hope of being a ‘normal’ kid. Then one day, my best friend begged me to speak to his mother because that was the only way I could go to his baseball game. For three hours, I stood next to his mom as she watched soap operas and waited patiently for me to whisper something, anything, in her ear.

Todd begged and cried for me to brave up and say something. By the end of the third hour, my best friend knelt down exhausted and said to me, “I knew you couldn’t do it.” This little action switched something in me so powerful that I managed to whisper ‘yes’ into his mom’s ear.

I haven’t been able to stop talking since.

Fast forward to high school English class. To graduate, I needed to present my book report to the class. I refused, deathly afraid of public speaking. My English teacher allowed me to present it to him after school. When I finished, he told me, “You won’t succeed in a professional setting, so get used to working harder instead of smarter. That little insult sparked an inferno inside of me and I marched off to college shortly after and majored in public speaking, and graduated Summa Cum Laude.

Whenever someone tells me I can’t accomplish something, I accomplish the S*#T out of it!

That is my fuel.

What’s yours? What gets you out of your comfort zone?

All the Best,

Suzie

I feel it's critical to support the community, and so I've committed to donate a portion of my book sale proceeds to the NOH8 Campaign (www.noh8campaign.com).

The Big Takeaway

Today is April 19th, and as I have done for the past two years, I will plant flowers in my front garden to honor my late friend, Patrick. I feel the best way to honor special people is to keep their memory alive by doing something life-fulfilling, life-evoking, life-enhancing. Whenever I’m in the presence of plants and flowers, I feel I’m in the presence of light, love, and God. So, it is through nature, that I keep my friend’s memory alive. As spring turns to summer and his flowers continue to bloom, I am reminded of his lively spirit.

With Patrick, I never knew what kind of craziness he’d toss in my path.  He treated life like it was an ongoing festival filled with clowns, balloons, candy apples, cotton candy, cold and crisp beer, sunny skies, and gigantic roller coasters.  He lived more life in his forty years than most eighty year olds did. If he wanted to travel, he traveled. If he wanted to run a business, he ran a business. If he wanted to get married and have a child, he got married and had a child. If he wanted to careen down a roller coaster with his hands up in the air, then he did so. If he wanted to sing karaoke to a restless crowd, then he sang his heart out. No wasn’t a part of his vocabulary. When he wanted something, he went after it with everything he had.

The big takeaway he left me with was to not take life so seriously. “It’s only life,” he’d say. “What’s the worst that could happen?” I keep trying to take on this spirit. I’m not quite there, yet. I still have reservations and hang-ups about frivolous things that are out of my control and really shouldn’t be allowed to weigh in on the grand scheme of my actions. Nonetheless, I keep trying to live my life each day to the fullest, reminding myself that for each breath I take, I’ve been given a gift.

I look for opportunities to live fuller, to express better, to give more freely. 

Has someone left an indelible mark on your life the way Patrick has on mine? Do you stop to reflect when you’re taking life too seriously, maybe even move past that mode and onto something more fruitful and energizing?

When I plant those flowers today, I will do so with the spirit of a child in awe so that each time I view them, I can harness that energy and live a slice of my day in Patrick’s sunny spirit.



Wishing you ultimate success in all that's important to you,
Suzie

I feel it's critical to support the community, and so I've committed to donate a portion of my book sale proceeds to the NOH8 Campaign (www.noh8campaign.com).

No? Ha! Watch me.

By Suzie Carr
@girl_novelist

When you love what you are doing, nothing in this universe will ever stop you from doing it. 
I dreamed of being a novelist since I was a senior in high school. Back then, I’d sit under the maple tree in my backyard on warm, sunny days and free write. I’d write in the car on road trips. I’d write in the waiting room of my dentist, doctor, or hairdresser. I’d write anywhere a pen and notepad was allowed.

Find what you love and do it.
I had to become a novelist. I couldn’t live any other life. This hunger has thrived in me for years. It’s seen me through the writing of a couple of novels that sat on my computer waiting to be read by someone other than me.

You are the determining factor in your destiny. No one else has that power.
With all major publishers in the lgbt genre closefisted from receiving unsolicited manuscripts from an unagented writer, my future as a novelist seemed pretty bleak by most standards. But, I refused to give up hope.

I kept writing anyway, refusing to allow a handful of people to get in my way and tell me no. I wouldn’t allow anyone to control my destiny like that. I loved creating fictional worlds too much to have ever allowed that to happen. I could feel this love, like a tickle deep down in my core. That was what I held onto.

Believing in your dreams pays off.
I didn’t know how I would ever get my books out there for readers to read, but I just knew it would happen. Just as the earth rotates, the tide pushes in and rushes back out, the sun rises and the sun sets, I too, knew, without a doubt, I would end up a novelist. I would work hard, learn my trade, learn from other’s succeeding in my trade, and never stop learning and refining.

Fast forward a few years into my hard work to the fall of 2010. I sat in the front row of an investment class. I listened to a successful investor educate us on the importance of resolve and the will to succeed. Then, he said something that made me feel like he was talking directly to me. He said one of his dreams was to write a book about investing. He did. He then bypassed all traditional publishers and opted for self-publishing. His words that still echo in my mind are, “Everyone should experience the process of writing a book. It’s truly cathartic.”

I went home that night with a beating heart that wouldn’t quit. I logged onto Amazon and discovered the path that would lead me to my destiny as a novelist.

It’s your life, your passion, your destiny.
I’m so glad I didn’t listen to the handful of people who thought they could dictate my future. No way will I ever give anyone that kind of power over my life, over my passion, over my destiny. I’m a novelist not out of luck, but out of hard work, out of a hunger to learn and refine, and most importantly, out of the love of it all.

Have faith in what you love.
Never let anyone tell you no. You have the power to say yes to anything that tickles your core, anything that gets your heart pumping, anything that you desire.

Wishing you much success,
Suzie Carr

I feel it's critical to support the community, and so I've committed to donate a portion of my book sale proceeds to the NOH8 Campaign (www.noh8campaign.com).

 

Unstuck

By: Suzie Carr
@girl_novelist

“I may not be there yet, but I’m closer than I was yesterday.”

This phrase hangs on my office wall and gets my attention several times a day. It keeps me on track and focused. It serves as a great reminder for me to stay the course, regardless of how slow-going, daunting, or challenging it may seem at times.

Whether you’re staring at a parcel of land and want to turn it into a lush garden, or you’re tasked with developing a new system for an organization, or you’re inspired to dress up a white wall with a life-size mural, you run the risk of derailing from the course if you view the process as one large looming runaway project.

What’s the solution? How do people deal with this? How does an architect turn a white piece of paper into a magnificent sketch? How does a movie director turn a bunch of words into a blockbuster film?

Well, if you break it down fact by fact, what you're really looking at is this --
A book containing 75,000 words can only start out one letter at a time. Connect enough of those letters and word counts will logically increase. It’s simple physics. String enough of those words into sentences and then into paragraphs, and before you know it, you will have created a scene, and ultimately a 75,000+ word book.

Logical, right? Of course, but, logic oftentimes takes a backseat when an overwhelming sea of white sprawls out in front of our eyes, challenging us to fill it up and transform it into a work of art that others will hopefully find worthwhile and inspiring. That’s a lot to shoulder. And, that’s where a lot of people get stuck.

How do you get unstuck?
Chop the process up into manageable chunks. Break it down letter by letter, flower by flower, brush stroke by brush stroke. You’ll get there eventually, as long as you show up and chop at the process a little each day.

Remember this as you start out on your next venture: Small chunks are far better than no chunks!
 
Wishing you ultimate success in all that's important to you,
Suzie

I feel it's critical to support the community, and so I've committed to donate a portion of my book sale proceeds to the NOH8 Campaign (www.noh8campaign.com).

Lesson Learned

We all make mistakes. Some are obviously bigger and more painful than others, of course, but nonetheless, they’re still things we never intentionally set out to cause. Despite the fact that we never intend to mess up, I bet many of you are like me in that you still feel terrible when it happens. Mistakes happen. We should be able to just shrug it off and move onward, right?

Gosh, I wish I were one of those people who could shrug off the missed typo, the burnt steak, or the neglect of not checking my stock positions on the one day I really needed to. Whether small or large, whenever I make a mistake, I never shrug it off. I usually spend way too much time overanalyzing the error of my ways and then come to a similar conclusion every time: find the lesson and move onward.

Last week I caused an unfortunate design mishap to occur. I rushed through a client order and neglected to follow my golden design rule, which is to run it by an objective pair of eyes before sending off to print. Time was of the essence, I was feeling design cocky, and so, I packaged up the files and sent them off to print without my trusted design partner’s eagle eye.

Two days later, the brochures arrived - all five thousand of them with a glaring mistake. I transposed the letter ‘I’ for the letter ‘U’ in a critical context. The letter ‘I’ stood out like a beacon to my stunned eyes. The call to my client was not an easy one. Five thousand brochures later, a simple transposed letter turned into thousands of dollars my department would have to eat. But, hey, mistakes happen, right?

Right, but… this was a mistake that could’ve been easily avoided had I followed my usual system and not been in a rush. Ah ha! The lesson is learned and seared into my brain for now and forever.

Mistakes are painful to make. But, we all make them. Once they’re made, they’re hard to erase. They remain like the ink of a permanent marker. I spent two days shaking my head, sighing, wanting desperately to kick myself for such a silly, costly mistake.

I’ll never make that mistake twice. I learned my lesson. That’s what’s important I think.


Do you try to find the lesson in your mistakes?


Wishing you peace,
Suzie

I feel it's critical to support the community, and so I've committed to donate a portion of my book sale proceeds to the NOH8 Campaign (www.noh8campaign.com)

Balancing Act

By Suzie Carr

@girl_novelist

Yesterday, I spent the better part of my day desperately trying to get in the zone. I even drank four cups of coffee, but to no avail, I couldn't focus. 

Finally, listening to my body, I surrendered to the lazy afternoon. 

This is highly unlike me. I’m that crazy go-getter with a mile long to-do list and more goals than would be humanly possible to accomplish in one lifetime. Despite this, I realize that every once in a while, we all need a day to play hooky. It does the mind good to rest it and let it run loose without restraint. So, yesterday, after fighting the urge to relax for too long, I loosened the grip and just let myself enjoy a beautiful afternoon free of work, of demands, of anything that required too much focus.

I needed to do this. Lately, I’ve scheduled my days to the minute. I believe goal setting and actions are critical to move forward in life. But, I also I believe if a person charges full force ahead leaving no room for fun, for wonder, for freedom, she will fall flat and run out of steam.

Balance is key.

Every once in a while, we all need to take time out to just be. So, after spending the morning running around like a wild woman clocking one important task after another, I ran out of steam and had nothing left. That’s when I surrendered. I let the tension roll off of my shoulders and embraced some downtime.

I breathed in some beautiful fresh air, basked in the unseasonably warm February sunshine and let my mind wander off to the beauty of the birds flying above and the fluffy white clouds floating on the backdrop to the prettiest periwinkle sky I’d seen in a while.

The result? Today, my mind is clear. My breaths are deeper. My heart is open to the possibilities of a brand new day.

Bring it on! I am recharged.

Here’s hoping you find that sweet spot of balance in your life, too!

Suzie

I feel it's critical to support the community, and so I've committed to donate a portion of my book sale proceeds to the NOH8 Campaign (www.noh8campaign.com)