What's Your Fuel?

By Suzie Carr
@girl_novelist

As a novelist, I’m always interested to learn what motivates people to go beyond their comfort levels to that place where real growth happens. When creating characters, I enjoy learning lessons through them. What makes them act the way they do? Why do they care so deeply for certain things? How did they become so cynical, so happy or so fearful?

We’re all driven by different things. Our past experiences shape the way we view the world and the way we interact with others. We all come equipped with driving forces that dig deep and push us to or pull us away from defining moments.

I’m driven by the word CAN’T. When someone tells me I can’t do something, I do it double-time.  The reason for this motivation digs deep.

When I was in kindergarten and sitting in a circle for story time, a girl bullied me. Each time I’d raise my hand to answer a question, she’d hit me. After several grueling rounds of this, I stopped raising my hand and eventually lost all confidence to speak to anyone but my best friend, Todd, and my immediate family members. For two years, I spoke only to them.

Bribed with adventures and treats that would make any well-adjusted child leap for joy, I turned my back on any hope of being a ‘normal’ kid. Then one day, my best friend begged me to speak to his mother because that was the only way I could go to his baseball game. For three hours, I stood next to his mom as she watched soap operas and waited patiently for me to whisper something, anything, in her ear.

Todd begged and cried for me to brave up and say something. By the end of the third hour, my best friend knelt down exhausted and said to me, “I knew you couldn’t do it.” This little action switched something in me so powerful that I managed to whisper ‘yes’ into his mom’s ear.

I haven’t been able to stop talking since.

Fast forward to high school English class. To graduate, I needed to present my book report to the class. I refused, deathly afraid of public speaking. My English teacher allowed me to present it to him after school. When I finished, he told me, “You won’t succeed in a professional setting, so get used to working harder instead of smarter. That little insult sparked an inferno inside of me and I marched off to college shortly after and majored in public speaking, and graduated Summa Cum Laude.

Whenever someone tells me I can’t accomplish something, I accomplish the S*#T out of it!

That is my fuel.

What’s yours? What gets you out of your comfort zone?

All the Best,

Suzie

I feel it's critical to support the community, and so I've committed to donate a portion of my book sale proceeds to the NOH8 Campaign (www.noh8campaign.com).

The Journey

By Suzie Carr
@girl_novelist

I’ve been quiet on my blog for the past few weeks because I’ve been focused on completing my fourth novel – Inner Secrets. In early January, she’ll be ready to be unleashed onto the world! I’ve been writing this book since March, and have finally relinquished control over the keyboard to my editor (@editor_girl).

The journey has been fun, and as is always the case, has seen me through the twists and turns of everyday life. I always develop a sense of sadness when I complete a book. The characters attach themselves to me, and I find it hard to let go of them. But, I know to continue as a novelist, I must part my ways with them and start fresh meeting a whole new set of characters that’ll sweep me away from reality a few hours every day for the next six to eight months.

I am ready to take a new journey. So, it’s time to switch my mind into brainstorm mode and start on novel number five!

To give you a sense of Inner Secrets, here’s an excerpt from chapter one:

Dear Journal,

Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Hope Steele. I turned twenty-eight yesterday and I’ve got something to confess.

I am gay.

Just seeing these three words scrawled out on my page jolts me. I am charged tossing my truth out and seeing it stand on its own, strong, confident, fearless. I’ve told two people in my life to date, my best friend, PJ, and her girlfriend, Rachel. I’ve lived the better part of my life with this secret, and might just lose it if I have to live another moment hidden. So, here I am, confessing my truth on paper, hoping I can get to know the real me through this journaling.

So what’s the big deal that I’m gay?

Well, you see, I’m married. I’ve been married to my husband Ryan for two years, ten months, four days, ten hours and thirty-one minutes.

It's nice to be back blogging. Drop me a line and tell me what you think of this excerpt if you get a chance!

Wishing you lots of happiness,

Suzie


I feel it's critical to support the community, and so I've committed to donate a portion of my book sale proceeds to Chely Wright's LikeMe foundation (http://likeme.org/) to help provide support, resources and education to LGBT individuals, and their families and friends.