Together We're Stronger

@girl_novelist

A public service announcement via Until There’s A Cure®.

I’m dedicating today’s blog to an important topic that needs attention. 

Did you know that nearly thirty years into the HIV/AIDS epidemic, there is still no simple solution to breaking the cycle of HIV? Many have been infected with HIV, more than 2.7 million each year to be exact. 

Until There’s A Cure® is a national organization dedicated to eradicating HIV/AIDS by raising awareness and funds to combat this pandemic.

With the help of celebrities, partner corporations, volunteers, and passionate supporters, this organization serves to fund prevention education, care services, and vaccine development, and to increase public awareness of AIDS, using The Bracelet as the tool. The Bracelet serves as a bridge to unite people to fight HIV/AIDS, and helps to increase consciousness, compassion, understanding, and responsibility.

Until There’s A Cure is committed to:

• Funding innovative programs that promote AIDS awareness and prevention education.
• Providing financial support for care and services for those living with AIDS.
• Supporting and advocating for AIDS vaccine development that offers the best hope for reducing the spread of HIV.

A Public Service Team United

Celebrities from the entertainment industry and the sports world wear The Bracelet. Major magazines, including Voque, Maxim, Cosmopolitan, InStyle, Us Weekly, ESPN Magazine, and many others generously donate space for the PSAs.

Over the past 19 years , UNTIL has reinvested over $22 million dollars in programs and grants, providing money to African villages ravaged by HIV infection, community clinics supporting care and comprehensive testing programs, and vaccine advocacy groups dedicated to research and medical development.

90% OF ALL PROCEEDS GO BACK TO THE CAUSE! 

Their jewelry line has grown from The Bracelet, our original cuff-style bracelet, to include over 25 styles. Many pieces are handmade in Africa by HIV-positive women. The projects we support in Africa not only employ but EMPOWER the women, enabling them to better care for their families and give back to their communities. 

They also donate a portion of the proceeds to help build hospitals, train nurses, and provide medical devices and other care services.  

Learn about The Bracelet.

The Big Takeaway

Today is April 19th, and as I have done for the past two years, I will plant flowers in my front garden to honor my late friend, Patrick. I feel the best way to honor special people is to keep their memory alive by doing something life-fulfilling, life-evoking, life-enhancing. Whenever I’m in the presence of plants and flowers, I feel I’m in the presence of light, love, and God. So, it is through nature, that I keep my friend’s memory alive. As spring turns to summer and his flowers continue to bloom, I am reminded of his lively spirit.

With Patrick, I never knew what kind of craziness he’d toss in my path.  He treated life like it was an ongoing festival filled with clowns, balloons, candy apples, cotton candy, cold and crisp beer, sunny skies, and gigantic roller coasters.  He lived more life in his forty years than most eighty year olds did. If he wanted to travel, he traveled. If he wanted to run a business, he ran a business. If he wanted to get married and have a child, he got married and had a child. If he wanted to careen down a roller coaster with his hands up in the air, then he did so. If he wanted to sing karaoke to a restless crowd, then he sang his heart out. No wasn’t a part of his vocabulary. When he wanted something, he went after it with everything he had.

The big takeaway he left me with was to not take life so seriously. “It’s only life,” he’d say. “What’s the worst that could happen?” I keep trying to take on this spirit. I’m not quite there, yet. I still have reservations and hang-ups about frivolous things that are out of my control and really shouldn’t be allowed to weigh in on the grand scheme of my actions. Nonetheless, I keep trying to live my life each day to the fullest, reminding myself that for each breath I take, I’ve been given a gift.

I look for opportunities to live fuller, to express better, to give more freely. 

Has someone left an indelible mark on your life the way Patrick has on mine? Do you stop to reflect when you’re taking life too seriously, maybe even move past that mode and onto something more fruitful and energizing?

When I plant those flowers today, I will do so with the spirit of a child in awe so that each time I view them, I can harness that energy and live a slice of my day in Patrick’s sunny spirit.



Wishing you ultimate success in all that's important to you,
Suzie

I feel it's critical to support the community, and so I've committed to donate a portion of my book sale proceeds to the NOH8 Campaign (www.noh8campaign.com).

No? Ha! Watch me.

By Suzie Carr
@girl_novelist

When you love what you are doing, nothing in this universe will ever stop you from doing it. 
I dreamed of being a novelist since I was a senior in high school. Back then, I’d sit under the maple tree in my backyard on warm, sunny days and free write. I’d write in the car on road trips. I’d write in the waiting room of my dentist, doctor, or hairdresser. I’d write anywhere a pen and notepad was allowed.

Find what you love and do it.
I had to become a novelist. I couldn’t live any other life. This hunger has thrived in me for years. It’s seen me through the writing of a couple of novels that sat on my computer waiting to be read by someone other than me.

You are the determining factor in your destiny. No one else has that power.
With all major publishers in the lgbt genre closefisted from receiving unsolicited manuscripts from an unagented writer, my future as a novelist seemed pretty bleak by most standards. But, I refused to give up hope.

I kept writing anyway, refusing to allow a handful of people to get in my way and tell me no. I wouldn’t allow anyone to control my destiny like that. I loved creating fictional worlds too much to have ever allowed that to happen. I could feel this love, like a tickle deep down in my core. That was what I held onto.

Believing in your dreams pays off.
I didn’t know how I would ever get my books out there for readers to read, but I just knew it would happen. Just as the earth rotates, the tide pushes in and rushes back out, the sun rises and the sun sets, I too, knew, without a doubt, I would end up a novelist. I would work hard, learn my trade, learn from other’s succeeding in my trade, and never stop learning and refining.

Fast forward a few years into my hard work to the fall of 2010. I sat in the front row of an investment class. I listened to a successful investor educate us on the importance of resolve and the will to succeed. Then, he said something that made me feel like he was talking directly to me. He said one of his dreams was to write a book about investing. He did. He then bypassed all traditional publishers and opted for self-publishing. His words that still echo in my mind are, “Everyone should experience the process of writing a book. It’s truly cathartic.”

I went home that night with a beating heart that wouldn’t quit. I logged onto Amazon and discovered the path that would lead me to my destiny as a novelist.

It’s your life, your passion, your destiny.
I’m so glad I didn’t listen to the handful of people who thought they could dictate my future. No way will I ever give anyone that kind of power over my life, over my passion, over my destiny. I’m a novelist not out of luck, but out of hard work, out of a hunger to learn and refine, and most importantly, out of the love of it all.

Have faith in what you love.
Never let anyone tell you no. You have the power to say yes to anything that tickles your core, anything that gets your heart pumping, anything that you desire.

Wishing you much success,
Suzie Carr

I feel it's critical to support the community, and so I've committed to donate a portion of my book sale proceeds to the NOH8 Campaign (www.noh8campaign.com).

 

Unstuck

By: Suzie Carr
@girl_novelist

“I may not be there yet, but I’m closer than I was yesterday.”

This phrase hangs on my office wall and gets my attention several times a day. It keeps me on track and focused. It serves as a great reminder for me to stay the course, regardless of how slow-going, daunting, or challenging it may seem at times.

Whether you’re staring at a parcel of land and want to turn it into a lush garden, or you’re tasked with developing a new system for an organization, or you’re inspired to dress up a white wall with a life-size mural, you run the risk of derailing from the course if you view the process as one large looming runaway project.

What’s the solution? How do people deal with this? How does an architect turn a white piece of paper into a magnificent sketch? How does a movie director turn a bunch of words into a blockbuster film?

Well, if you break it down fact by fact, what you're really looking at is this --
A book containing 75,000 words can only start out one letter at a time. Connect enough of those letters and word counts will logically increase. It’s simple physics. String enough of those words into sentences and then into paragraphs, and before you know it, you will have created a scene, and ultimately a 75,000+ word book.

Logical, right? Of course, but, logic oftentimes takes a backseat when an overwhelming sea of white sprawls out in front of our eyes, challenging us to fill it up and transform it into a work of art that others will hopefully find worthwhile and inspiring. That’s a lot to shoulder. And, that’s where a lot of people get stuck.

How do you get unstuck?
Chop the process up into manageable chunks. Break it down letter by letter, flower by flower, brush stroke by brush stroke. You’ll get there eventually, as long as you show up and chop at the process a little each day.

Remember this as you start out on your next venture: Small chunks are far better than no chunks!
 
Wishing you ultimate success in all that's important to you,
Suzie

I feel it's critical to support the community, and so I've committed to donate a portion of my book sale proceeds to the NOH8 Campaign (www.noh8campaign.com).

Lesson Learned

We all make mistakes. Some are obviously bigger and more painful than others, of course, but nonetheless, they’re still things we never intentionally set out to cause. Despite the fact that we never intend to mess up, I bet many of you are like me in that you still feel terrible when it happens. Mistakes happen. We should be able to just shrug it off and move onward, right?

Gosh, I wish I were one of those people who could shrug off the missed typo, the burnt steak, or the neglect of not checking my stock positions on the one day I really needed to. Whether small or large, whenever I make a mistake, I never shrug it off. I usually spend way too much time overanalyzing the error of my ways and then come to a similar conclusion every time: find the lesson and move onward.

Last week I caused an unfortunate design mishap to occur. I rushed through a client order and neglected to follow my golden design rule, which is to run it by an objective pair of eyes before sending off to print. Time was of the essence, I was feeling design cocky, and so, I packaged up the files and sent them off to print without my trusted design partner’s eagle eye.

Two days later, the brochures arrived - all five thousand of them with a glaring mistake. I transposed the letter ‘I’ for the letter ‘U’ in a critical context. The letter ‘I’ stood out like a beacon to my stunned eyes. The call to my client was not an easy one. Five thousand brochures later, a simple transposed letter turned into thousands of dollars my department would have to eat. But, hey, mistakes happen, right?

Right, but… this was a mistake that could’ve been easily avoided had I followed my usual system and not been in a rush. Ah ha! The lesson is learned and seared into my brain for now and forever.

Mistakes are painful to make. But, we all make them. Once they’re made, they’re hard to erase. They remain like the ink of a permanent marker. I spent two days shaking my head, sighing, wanting desperately to kick myself for such a silly, costly mistake.

I’ll never make that mistake twice. I learned my lesson. That’s what’s important I think.


Do you try to find the lesson in your mistakes?


Wishing you peace,
Suzie

I feel it's critical to support the community, and so I've committed to donate a portion of my book sale proceeds to the NOH8 Campaign (www.noh8campaign.com)

Take Five

Ever have one of those days when you feel like you’re being stretched way beyond a reasonable point? Yesterday my day went down like this: I arrived at my day job pumped to engage fully in a project that required my immediate attention only to be sidetracked by three different people with three different tasks of greater priority to the one I first planned to tackle. My head spun instantly and my breathing shallowed to a mere whisper, flirting with my lungs but not quite engaging. Terrible feeling!

I was expected to race from one emergency situation to another.  I’m talking the type of emergencies that are really petty in scope, but are classified as emergency by executives who believe the world will cave in on us all if something isn’t done that very minute. Hold the bathroom breaks. Hold the meals. Hold the water. No time for that. The department has design issues. Oh my! If I sound a little facetious, it’s because I am (big smile).

Sometimes when people rush towards me with a pile of ‘emergency’ items that can’t possibly be put off for another business day, I do this: I close my office door, toss my hands up in the air, and bend over in cathartic laughter. May seem like a nontraditional response, but hey, I’m not so traditional.

I am not a fan of reactivity. I’d much rather be proactive whenever possible. I enjoy when I’m able to accomplish the most important tasks first. For this to happen, priorities need to be set. I think most people would agree that the average person stumbles through the day putting out fires set by others. Placing ourselves in this situation, we're not able to collect our thoughts and logically and strategically plan ahead to avoid these bouts where we are dashing from one end of the room to the other leaving our wits at the door.

I’m a firm believer our wits should never be left at the door. They should be held in the highest of regards because if not, someone is sure to come by and snatch them from us.

Yesterday, my day started to unravel even before I had time to stick my lunch tote in the fridge, before I had time to brew a necessary cup of java, before I could even hang up my coat! Immediately, I started to fall victim to the kind of pressure capable of destroying the human spirit.

What did I do? I shut my door, did my ritual of tossing hands in the air and laughing, and then I took five minutes to clear my brain with some deep breathing. As long as I am on someone else’s dime, I can’t control the external fires being set. What I can control though is how I react to them.

Five minutes of creating clarity was all it took to set my day back on a fruitful track. By any other measure, I wouldn’t have been effective. This is what we have to remember each day when we are tested to the brink. Our sanity depends largely on how we react to a given situation. I, for one, refuse to allow other people’s haphazard reluctance to plan ahead affect me in any unhealthy way. No one wins that way.

Next time you’re frazzled, take the five minutes to balance yourself and face things head on with a clearer, more focused mentality. You’ll save yourself a headache and be giving the best of you to those around you.

Wishing you much peace,
Suzie

I feel it's critical to support the community, and so I've committed to donate a portion of my book sale proceeds to the NOH8 Campaign (www.noh8campaign.com)

Shifting Focus

Complaining only gets in our way.

So, why do we complain? I can come up with all sorts of viable reasons. It feels good. It makes us feel connected with others. We get confirmation that we’re not the only ones going through tough stuff. We receive the empathy of others, and let’s face it, empathy is comforting.

Some days we may just feel like caving in and say to the world, ‘come swaddle me in some comfort while I unleash the weight of the world onto your shoulders.’ We may invite a friend in to listen to our complaints, and before we know it, we’re both waddling around together in the same pool of anguish, both equally upset about our situations, both wishing we could right the wrongs of this illogical world and start fresh.

Gosh, if life only came with a magic eraser! Unfortunately, we can’t right certain wrongs regardless how ridiculous and unfair they are. We can’t make people see our plights with the same thoughtful eye with which we see them. We can’t change people.

If you’re like most people, you may even start to build a chip on your shoulder over the ignorance of others that insults you every day and over the bitterness that starts to erode your once lively spirit. Before long, you’re so deep in complaint mode, you are stuck. Stuck in the muck.

Many times we’re so rigidly focused on those things that spoil our spirits that we can’t see past the haze that pollutes our worlds. We don't even realize that if we look beyond the haze there is a whole lot of brightness that can help ease those things that eat away at our souls.

We must focus not on the haze, but on the brightness behind it. But how when the haze is so thick?

Well, by making a choice. We can choose to continue to complain and get the same null results or we can choose to shift our focus to things that make us feel good.

So try this - the next time the world is beating you up, and it will because that’s life, don’t stare at its mighty, impenetrable fists. Rather, cock your head to the side and latch onto the happy sights around, like the child giggling in the yard next door, or the dog wagging his tail, or the wounded warrior wearing a smile on his face, or the trees dancing in the sky. Take in all of the beauty in your peripheral view. It's waiting for you to take notice.


When you change your view, you transform your world.


Wishing you the best, 
Suzie


I feel it's critical to support the community, and so I've committed to donate a portion of my book sale proceeds to the NOH8 Campaign (www.noh8campaign.com)

Photography courtesy of T.A. Royce. If you are interested in purchasing any of the photos in this video, please contact photographer directly on Twitter @editor_girl.