Thursday, September 29, 2011

Words = Reality

Our Words Become Our Reality

By Suzie Carr
@girl_novelist


I’ve had friends and coworkers venting to me about their husbands, their wives, their sisters, their mothers, you name it, and the deeper into the trough of the complaint they get, the crazier their moods become. I can actually see their eyes start to pop, their cheeks start to redden, their bodies start to tighten like a balled up fist. What might’ve started out as a romp in conversation about a partner’s inability to put the remote control back on the end table each day, turns into a tirade about this partner never listening, never helping, never being home, etc. Wow how does this partner ever redeem herself?


The more we breathe life into a complaint, the bigger it grows. What a force!





It’s easy to complain to a friend about the pesky habits of your partner or the outlandish way another friend acted, and honestly, sometimes it just feels good to complain. Find a willing listener, and airing out the frustrated details of another person’s supposed angst against us tickles our inner comfort zone, strangely enough.


The problem with complaining is that it tends to perpetuate into a completely different animal altogether by sheer momentum. And, any good feeling derived is short-lived. Just like a creamy chocolate bar is delicious as it passes your lips and dances with your taste buds, so too is the lure of complaining. That yum factor loses its power pretty quickly. What’s left is that bitter taste of knowing you’re going to have to work extra hard to nullify its effects.


So, if our words become reality, imagine the possibilities of directing them from complaints to accolades? Imagine the things we could perpetuate in this lifetime if we harnessed this power?


Do you agree in this power of words?

Wishing you a great day,
Suzie

I feel it's critical to support the community, and so I've committed to donate a portion of my book sale proceeds to Chely Wright's LikeMe foundation (http://likeme.org/) to help provide support, resources and education to LGBT individuals, and their families and friends.

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Great Expectations

"Our deeds determine us, as much as we determine our deeds." George Eliot

By: Suzie Carr

@girl_novelist

The other day I lived one of those days I wished I could do over.



I planned this day off from work a month previous to it. I was going to spend the entire day at a cafĂ© sipping creamy coffee and completing my next novel’s first draft. I had great expectations that I would accomplish a ton and enjoy some much needed downtime from my marketing job.


Well, the day went down like this: A friend called and asked me to take him to the Motor Vehicle Administration (MVA) so he could update his out-of-state, outdated driver’s license. On the drive over to the MVA, he sat cheerful in my front passenger seat, while I stewed at his lack of good timing. I'm not completely sure, but, with my writing plans altered, steam might have been blowing out of my ears.


The day veered far off from where I wanted it to go. My mood was not pretty, especially after spending the entire day (8.5 hours exactly) driving back and forth to the MVA because my friend forgot an item, needed to take a special course at a different location, needed to go back to show his course completion certificate only to be told he needed to now take a written and driving test to complete his updated driver’s license ordeal. He was devastated by his plight. Instead of being the optimist this day, I was fuming.


And just when I thought the day couldn’t have dug any deeper into the abyss of waste, when we were ready to leave the MVA parking lot, my car refused to start. Yeah, seriously, right? Talk about calling out to the wrong frequency! Eventually, roadside assistance showed up and helped me out. By this time, my head felt heavier than a fifty pound kettlebell.


Fast forward to many hours later, long after I tossed all sense of compassion out the window and acted like a petulant child who didn’t get her way, I knocked on my friend’s door. I hung my head in shame embarrassed that I acted so selfishly by making him feel badly that he wasted my day.

Stuff  happens. He didn't order this crazy day for himself anymore than I did. So, I swallowed my pride and apologized to him and tried to explain my actions. But, how do you explain selfishness? The only way I figured how was to show him I cared. I volunteered to take him back to the MVA for his tests this weekend. I know if the situation were reversed, he'd so the same for me with zero hesitation.

So, what did I learn from this?

We should have great expectations, but also be flexible when we're called to part with them for the greater good of someone else. Approaching a good deed with a selfish mindset only nullifies it. To truly be selfless requires that a person steps out of her life momentarily and focuses all her love and attention on the one who needs it.

We're all in this together.

Suzie


I feel it's critical to support the community, and so I've committed to donate a portion of my book sale proceeds to Chely Wright's LikeMe foundation (http://likeme.org/) to help provide support, resources and education to LGBT individuals, and their families and friends.






Thursday, September 15, 2011

Beauty in the Raw

"For myself I am an optimist - it does not seem to be much use being anything else." Winston Churchill
By: Suzie Carr

@girl_novelist
Free spirits—you know the kind—the ones who walk with a skip in their step, a whistle from their lips, and a sparkle in their eye, who have the ability to brighten lives. They radiate joy and show a deep appreciation for life.

I am attracted to free spirits
- completely drawn to them. I’m fortunate to have quite a few in my life.


Even in the midst of adversity, these people look at life with gratitude. They can harness the good from what others might view as worthless. They see a pile of work as a great way to accomplish something, a bad customer service situation as the ideal way to make someone happy, a challenging circumstance as one that can lift a person to higher ground.


They see the world in a brighter light and are not tarnished by its demands. My ninety-six-year-old grandfather is a free spirit. I’ve never heard him speak negatively about anything or anyone, and this man would be justified with the challenges that have attempted to break him down. I believe the secret to his contagious positive spirit lies in the way he chooses to view things.


Viewpoint is a powerful phenomenon.
Something could be troubling or it could be beauty in the raw. It’s our choice. Take a dandelion flower. A landscaper who works hard to make her garden perfect may view it as a troublesome weed, while a person who looks out at cement everyday may see it as a beautiful flower. Or take a bag of bruised apples. Aren’t they really the perfect ingredient for a delicious homemade apple pie? My grandfather would say so.

A
classic example of extracting the good out of the bad is with Jimmy Stewart’s character in the movie, “It’s a Wonderful Life”. What was once a drafty ole’ house became his life-affirming salvation and sought-after sanctuary. The job he had once viewed as a burden that was handed down to him became his saving grace and one of the many reasons for living. When he stepped back and viewed his situation as a blessing, he saw it for its value. He suddenly choose to see purpose in everything, even the broken staircase railing that earlier tore him up inside.

Imagine the power we could harness if we saw broken things as a pathway to change or a road to better things to come?


Do you know of someone like this? If so, how have they affected your viewpoint?




- Suzie Carr
I feel it's critical to support the community, and so I've committed to donate a portion of my book sale proceeds to Chely Wright's LikeMe foundation (http://likeme.org/) to help provide support, resources and education to LGBT individuals, and their families and friends.


Thursday, September 8, 2011

Change

When you are through changing, you are through. ~Bruce Barton


By: Suzie Carr
@girl_novelist
Change is something that can benefit all of us. It can bring us rewards, introduce us to new opportunity, and present us with beautiful new insights. A life rich with change is really like a healthy garden. Everything is budding, flowering, growing into spectacular new form.


Change is scary for most. It requires getting out of our comfort zone and walking an unfamiliar path that could bend or twist in ways we never thought imaginable. It’s only through this process, though, that we conjure up the momentum to get us places we’ve never seen before.


Sure, it’d be easier on our psyche and our nerves if everything just stayed the same, remained predictable. We’d know what each day would bring us. We’d be surefooted, confident that each step would lead to somewhere within our control, within our scope, within our patterns. We’d fall asleep every night unchanged, unweathered, pretty much the same exact person we were when we awoke that very morning.


If that sounds dull to you, further indulge with me for a moment and imagine what this world would look like if nature refused to shake things up every day. Picture a world where the clouds didn’t give way to sun, brown grass didn’t turn green, bulbs didn’t bloom into full-grown flowers, and bare tree branches didn’t sprout leaves.


Change renews the spirit, freeing us from all that is old and holding us back from our destiny. In moments of change and uncertainty, take pleasure in the unknown of the situation. Be reassured, the sun will shine, life-preserving raindrops will fall, seedlings will grow, and the flowers will bloom.


Change is beautiful. Its cultivating power nurtures our gardens within to grow into a colorful, ever-changing life.


Hoping you enjoy change as much as I do,


Suzie Carr


****




I feel it's critical to support the community, and so I've committed to donate a portion of my book sale proceeds to Chely Wright's LikeMe foundation (http://likeme.org/) to help provide support, resources and education to LGBT individuals, and their families and friends.

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Finding Fulfillment

"Successful people are always looking for opportunities to help others." - Brian Tracy



Finding Fulfillment
by Suzie Carr
@girl_novelist


My first job out of college was as a Senior Operations Associate working for a financial company in Massachusetts, where I eventually shed many frustrated tears.


You see, I wanted to be a creative writer, not to be a monetary wizard. Where others found gratification, I found a straight path to dissatisfaction.


Why did I settle for something so apparently astray from where I wanted to be? Money. I needed the green bills and this company gave them to me. I had a new, shiny, red car in the driveway and a lovely three bedroom apartment in the city of Providence. I succumbed to the lure of comfort, which resulted in many sleepless nights, wallowing in useless self-pity and drowning in relentless tears. The need for money was my obstacle. It forced me on a path which I didn’t want to be.


When I measured my dream against my reality the two were remotely off. The problem was that there were few positions available as a writer that did not require solid experience—something I did not have. There seemed to be no answer--no way to “break in.”


On a long hike one day, a friend turned to me and asked, “Isn’t a writer supposed to write?” Fueled by my laborious trek up the mountain and a biting need to defend myself, I answered quite hastily, “I don’t have time to waste on foolish dreams. How am I supposed to carve out time to write when I have to concentrate on cleaning, grocery shopping, and oh yeah, working?” Her patient reply was, “You shouldn’t feel guilty. Write to help others--not yourself.”


And so began my writing journey.


For many years, I volunteered writing articles for a local animal advocates group to help educate the public on issues pertaining to domesticated animals. Simultaneously, I began volunteering my time to write articles for hair salon trade magazines to help educate stylists around the globe on ways to market and build their businesses. Eventually, I discovered my real writing love  --novels that depict real life struggles and bring a sense of awareness that love is a beautiful thing!


I’ve learned that to stand for something requires action. If I want to be a writer, I must write. I can’t just talk about it. I must do it. And, I also need a definite purpose behind writing to experience the kind of fulfillment and purpose I crave. That definite purpose, of course, is to serve others.


And so continues my writing journey.


Hoping all the best for you,



Suzie


I feel it's critical to support the community, and so I've committed to donate a portion of my book sale proceeds to Chely Wright's LikeMe foundation (http://likeme.org//) to help provide support, resources and education to LGBT individuals, and their families and friends.


Follow me on Facebook to keep up on my latest projects! www.facebook.com/suziecarr.author

Thursday, August 11, 2011

Defining Moments

“There is no security on this earth. Only opportunity.”  - Douglas MacArthur

Defining Moments

by Suzie Carr

@girl_novelist


Not long ago, I had one of those defining moments when I realized just how lucky I was to still have the opportunity to tell those close to me that I love them.

I had volunteered to serve lunch to wounded soldiers and their families and met some extremely brave, positive, strong individuals. Chills traveled up and down my spine all day long, as these soldiers taught me the value of love, of resilience, of appreciation. The defining moment came when this one soldier and his parents approached me for a scoop of mashed potatoes. 

The soldier had lost both of his legs in combat, yet, he wore a bright smile as he talked about his success competing in a bike race the day before. He stood tall with the help of prosthetics, beaming brightly as he recounted the finest details of the race. His parents smiled with obvious pride when he got to the part about finishing first. His parents cherished him and savored his enthusiasm, this much was evident.

As he waved goodbye to us and headed off to his table, a wave of what-if's washed over me. What if this young man would have been killed? What if his parents hadn’t had a chance to tell him one last time how much they adored and loved him?
What if? What if? What if?

His mom sat by his side at his table and laughed at something he said. Joy bubbled up around them. Thankfully, she had that chance to show him how much she loved him.

What this defining moment taught me was that I should never feel entitled to waste precious opportunities to tell people I love them.

I'm going to strive to say it the first time around.

Hoping the same for you,

Suzie

I feel it's critical to support the community, and so I've committed to donate a portion of my book sale proceeds to Chely Wright's LikeMe foundation (
http://likeme.org/) to help provide support, resources and education to LGBT individuals, and their families and friends.
Follow me on Facebook to keep up on my latest projects! www.facebook.com/suziecarr.author

Thursday, August 4, 2011

All The Right Moves

When the student is ready, the master appears. ~Buddhist Proverb

b
y: Suzie Carr
@girl_novelist

I’m goal-oriented. I have my goal list pinned to my corkboard, taped to my bathroom mirror, even displayed on a dry-erase board in my hallway. If it’s in my sight, I’m going to tackle it. So, naturally, it comes as no surprise that I’ve failed to put certain bucket-items on these lists, items like ‘go skydiving’ and ‘sleep under the stars without a tent’ and ‘run a marathon’. After all, out of sight, out of mind, right?! Admirable as these are, I love my feet safely on the ground, my head resting against a tempurpedic pillow, and my relaxed state of mind during a manageable three mile run. 

My goals are slightly less adventurous
.

I just recently added a new practical goal to my list, and this one will most definitely come as a surprise to all. You see, I’m about to admit something no novelist should feel comfy admitting… I stink at typing. Up until now, I have never had a clue how to type like a writer should. So, new to my list is: Keyboarding 101.

A little crazy, right? I’ve written three novels and am writing my fourth now, and I am just now learning what ‘home keys’ are. I am also just learning that my left pinky depresses the ‘a’ key and that the ‘?’ key is near the ‘shift’ key and not on the top row where all the other important symbols are located.

I can get by alright with my cavewoman style typing methods, but clearly a better method exists.

So, for fifteen minutes every day, I load up my Keyboarding Pro software and challenge my fingers to move in ways they’ve never moved before.

I often wonder how much time I’ve wasted over the years hitting backspace and delete. In a day’s time, I would bet I hit them a thousand times. Well, now, three weeks into my lessons, I am happy to report that I typed the last 300 or so words of this blog hitting backspace only twice (big smile).

What about you? Is there a new skill you have always wanted to learn, but haven’t gotten around to learning it? What are you waiting for?

Enjoying Life,
Suzie Carr

****
I feel it's critical to support the community, and so I've committed to donate a portion of my book sale proceeds to Chely Wright's LikeMe foundation (
http://likeme.org/) to help provide support, resources and education to LGBT individuals, and their families and friends.

Follow me on Facebook to keep up on my latest projects!
www.facebook.com/suziecarr.author