Defining Moments

“There is no security on this earth. Only opportunity.”  - Douglas MacArthur

Defining Moments

by Suzie Carr
@girl_novelist


Not long ago, I had one of those defining moments when I realized just how lucky I was to still have the opportunity to tell those close to me that I love them.

I had volunteered to serve lunch to wounded soldiers and their families and met some extremely brave, positive, strong individuals. Chills traveled up and down my spine all day long, as these soldiers taught me the value of love, of resilience, of appreciation. The defining moment came when this one soldier and his parents approached me for a scoop of mashed potatoes. 

The soldier had lost both of his legs in combat, yet, he wore a bright smile as he talked about his success competing in a bike race the day before. He stood tall with the help of prosthetics, beaming brightly as he recounted the finest details of the race. His parents smiled with obvious pride when he got to the part about finishing first. His parents cherished him and savored his enthusiasm, this much was evident.

As he waved goodbye to us and headed off to his table, a wave of what-if's washed over me. What if this young man would have been killed? What if his parents hadn’t had a chance to tell him one last time how much they adored and loved him? What if? What if? What if?

His mom sat by his side at his table and laughed at something he said. Joy bubbled up around them. Thankfully, she had that chance to show him how much she loved him.

What this defining moment taught me was that I should never feel entitled to waste precious opportunities to tell people I love them.

I'm going to strive to say it the first time around.

Hoping the same for you,

Suzie

I feel it's critical to support the community, and so I've committed to donate a portion of my book sale proceeds to Chely Wright's LikeMe foundation (http://likeme.org/) to help provide support, resources and education to LGBT individuals, and their families and friends.
Follow me on Facebook to keep up on my latest projects! www.facebook.com/suziecarr.author

All The Right Moves

When the student is ready, the master appears. ~Buddhist Proverb

by: Suzie Carr
@girl_novelist

I’m goal-oriented. I have my goal list pinned to my corkboard, taped to my bathroom mirror, even displayed on a dry-erase board in my hallway. If it’s in my sight, I’m going to tackle it. So, naturally, it comes as no surprise that I’ve failed to put certain bucket-items on these lists, items like ‘go skydiving’ and ‘sleep under the stars without a tent’ and ‘run a marathon’. After all, out of sight, out of mind, right?! Admirable as these are, I love my feet safely on the ground, my head resting against a tempurpedic pillow, and my relaxed state of mind during a manageable three mile run. 

My goals are slightly less adventurous.

I just recently added a new practical goal to my list, and this one will most definitely come as a surprise to all. You see, I’m about to admit something no novelist should feel comfy admitting… I stink at typing. Up until now, I have never had a clue how to type like a writer should. So, new to my list is: Keyboarding 101.

A little crazy, right? I’ve written three novels and am writing my fourth now, and I am just now learning what ‘home keys’ are. I am also just learning that my left pinky depresses the ‘a’ key and that the ‘?’ key is near the ‘shift’ key and not on the top row where all the other important symbols are located.

I can get by alright with my cavewoman style typing methods, but clearly a better method exists.

So, for fifteen minutes every day, I load up my Keyboarding Pro software and challenge my fingers to move in ways they’ve never moved before.

I often wonder how much time I’ve wasted over the years hitting backspace and delete. In a day’s time, I would bet I hit them a thousand times. Well, now, three weeks into my lessons, I am happy to report that I typed the last 300 or so words of this blog hitting backspace only twice (big smile).

What about you? Is there a new skill you have always wanted to learn, but haven’t gotten around to learning it? What are you waiting for?

Enjoying Life,

Suzie Carr

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I feel it's critical to support the community, and so I've committed to donate a portion of my book sale proceeds to Chely Wright's LikeMe foundation (http://likeme.org/) to help provide support, resources and education to LGBT individuals, and their families and friends.

Follow me on Facebook to keep up on my latest projects! www.facebook.com/suziecarr.author

A Worthy Goal

"What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals."
Zig Ziglar

by: Suzie Carr
@girl_novelist

After several years of living enviously and vicariously through other people’s good fortunes, a friend said to me, “If you don’t take charge of your life, someone else will.”

Up to that point, I had been living my life afraid to assert myself, afraid to rely too heavily on unrealistic dreams. So, this phrase, swimming in truthful murk, stung like hell.

I couldn’t think of a single moment in time when I’d morphed into this person who allowed obstacles to cut into my dreams. But, somehow I’d allowed these challenges access to my primordial self, turning me into a victim of happenstance instead of a warrior claiming victory over my life.

No more my brain screamed.

My friend’s phrase had spun me into action. Compelled to act, I immediately set a goal to improve upon three areas of my life that I felt were most important to regaining my self-worth and well-being: to educate myself on how to invest, to get into the best physical shape of my life, and to write my butt off so I could work towards my lifetime dream of becoming a full time novelist.

That afternoon, I sat down at my dining room table with a pen in hand, and scribbled down the action steps I’d need to take to accomplish these three ideals. To see a goal in writing actually made it come alive for me. I couldn't ignore what I wanted to achieve a moment longer.

I broke each action step down into daily tasks and carried them with me in my pocketbook. When the craving to sleep in a little longer or watch some addictive television show tempted me, I thought about my daily list and how empowered I’d feel at the end of that day if I had checked off all the items.

With each day that passed, I became more and more determined to learn about bearish and bullish markets, to challenge my body physically with a good run or kettle bell workout, and to refine and publish my three novels.  Amazing what a little action each day could do for a gal!

Now, as I look back over this period of time, an easy smile rests on my face because all those little acts have added up to something powerful and tangible. I feel more alive than I did when I was in my twenties, I feel more financially empowered for my future, and I feel more grateful than ever that I am connecting with hundreds of readers a month now through my novels.

I have taken back the control and am continuing to steer my life in the direction I want it to go.

For the first time in my life, I am realizing that I can do anything I set my mind to doing.

I came across a great blog that speaks to the importance of setting goals. Randall Rogers talks about how setting goals is universal.

Here's to setting great goals,

Suzie Carr

****
I feel it's critical to support the community, and so I've committed to donate a portion of my book sale proceeds to Chely Wright's LikeMe foundation (http://likeme.org/) to help provide support, resources and education to LGBT individuals, and their families and friends.

Follow me on Facebook to keep up on my latest projects! www.facebook.com/suziecarr.author

Life’s a giant playground

“Happiness consists in activity. It is a running steam, not a stagnant pool.” – John Mason Good

I strive to be a flexible and free-spirited person; one that yields to the slightest and most extreme of changes, one that appears to be in complete enjoyment of the unknown, and one that shrugs off problems like they were merely disposable incidentals.

But, the conscientious, responsible adult in me makes this quest a constant struggle. Thankfully, I have lots of little angels, (and I use this description with complete seriousness – of course), in my life to help keep the rigid adult in me at bay as they bring out my inner child.

Not long ago, I tagged along with a friend of mine and her ‘little angels’ to a playground park, and somewhere in between swallowing feathery mouthfuls of cotton candy and chomping on buttered, salty popcorn, I realized how freeing it was to stop thinking like an adult and more like a child again. This was a good thing because it started to pour on us. Did this stop the fun? Of course not!

What a catharsis it was to swing in the pouring rain and not care that my mascara dripped down my cheeks, my hair lost its style, and my sneakers turned into water-logged reservoirs. None of that mattered. There we all were giggling, swinging, running, and simply enjoying what I would have otherwise considered a washed-out day. The gentle reminders from my fun companions, that skirting around a playground park in the rain with their ‘auntie’ was just fine, changed my whole perspective. I wasn't worried about how silly I looked exchanging goofy faces with these little angels or about the intake of calories and fat grams I was ingesting as I chomped into all that sugar and chugged down a regular Coke (not diet)!

That day taught me something important – free-spirited and flexible people don’t shy away from childlike fun. Since then, I have continued acting a little silly, having more fun, and taking life less seriously as I pounce and propel upwards on the great trampoline of life, one freeing, child-like step, flip, or even flop at a time. 


Hoping the same for you,
Suzie

 
****

I feel it's critical to support the community, and so I've committed to donate a portion of my book sale proceeds to Chely Wright's LikeMe foundation (http://likeme.org/) to help provide support, resources and education to LGBT individuals, and their families and friends. My books can be found on Amazon: The Fiche Room, Tangerine Twist and Two Feet Off The Ground.


Follow me on Facebook to keep up on my latest projects!
www.facebook.com/suziecarr.author 

Every Moment is an Experience

"Every moment is an experience." - Jake Roberts

Recently, a colleague invited me to have tea with her at a tea shop. I never liked tea, so I seriously thought about feigning a stomach virus. But, she was excited, and I didn’t want to burst her joy bubble.

When we arrived, an adorable lady sporting a bow-tied ponytail and a lacy apron greeted us. She escorted us past shelves stocked with fine teas, teapots, and fancy utensils, up a spiral flight of wooden steps and into a quaint room complete with lacy curtains and eyelet tablecloths. The room smelled like an early spring day. She sat us at a round table next to an antique hutch decorated with exquisite china.  I exhaled as softly as possible, fearing any rapid bellow of air would destroy the delicate ambiance.

She placed a cloth napkin on each of our laps and then explained the menu in one of those soothing voices that mother’s use when tucking a child into bed. Then, she retreated, leaving us alone to admire the old-fashioned wood carvings of the door and window trim and antique photos of Victorian women with curvy hips and bountiful bosoms carrying flowers.

A few minutes later, she reentered ‘our room’ with a tray of individual teapots and cups. She placed the dainty, floral painted cups in front of us and explained the fine art of steeping a pot of tea, which was to allow three minutes for steeping before indulging.  

So, as we diligently waited, she served us three tiers of scones and butter spreads, cute little sandwiches, and mouthwatering desserts dripping with fruits, creams and chocolates. I was in heaven, and so happy I didn’t fake stomach cramps! I felt like a little girl again sitting at the grown up table, allowed to use the best china. I even held up my pinky finger when sipping. It just felt like the right thing to do.

I giggled through half the afternoon.  I never imagined myself sipping cup after cup of tea, snacking on crumpets and feeling like a little girl swaddled up in this charming dollhouse while the rest of the modern day world went about their busy day.  

As the sweet decadence of fruit danced on my taste buds, something important dawned on me.  My life is zooming by and it’s critical for me to keep an open mind and try new things. By doing this, I offer myself the chance to discover all sorts of delicious new things.

Hoping the same for you,

Suzie

****
I feel it's critical to support the community, and so I've committed to donate a portion of my book sale proceeds to Chely Wright's LikeMe foundation (http://likeme.org/) to help provide support, resources and education to LGBT individuals, and their families and friends.
Follow me on Facebook to keep up on my latest projects! www.facebook.com/suziecarr.author

A Turning Point...

Back in eleventh grade of high school, I was the new kid. There I sat in English class, front and right-justified near the classroom door, with a dream to have a group of girls circle around me to ask me my name, to ask who did my hair, to dig further and ask where I bought my new jeans. Instead, I watched in horror as the strangers sidestepped me and carried on without me as if I were nothing more than another desk that sprouted up overnight. Class started several minutes late, and by this time, my throat had dried up, my confidence had shattered, my ego deflated to a mere lining. Then, because of my ill-thought out decision to sit at the head of the very first row, my new teacher asked me to open up the reading. There I sat, book in hand, ready to make my debut and instead of my voice smoothing out, some strange, labored breaths cranked and wrestled my words. My heart raced like a bucking bronco, my hands convulsed into fit of trembles, and for the love of God, I forgot how to read.


A panic attack. I looked to my teacher for rescue and he just stared at me, perplexed, eyes squinting, mouth agape. I wanted to punch him. Finally, the girl sitting directly behind me saved me by picking up where my words garbled and seamlessly serenaded the class with her beautiful, calm reassured voice. That girl became one of my best high school friends, and unknowingly years later, became my inspiration for majoring in public speaking as a college undergrad.




Challenges don’t plow us over to weaken us. They do so to help us grow.

Little White Lie...

The white lie: It’s wrapped in purity. It’s told for the greater good. It’s forgivable, acceptable. And, when it stays hidden, it’s the perfect escape out of what could be a disastrous telling of truth. I heard that the average person lies five times a day. I’m assuming these are white lies to help get them through those sticky situations that could otherwise turn real ugly, real fast. Like for instance, when I told a fellow passenger on an airline flight that her paranoia about crashing wasn’t at all bothersome for the four hours we sat next to each other; or when I told my hair client that her shampoo hadn’t come in for her on time because the shipment was late, not in fact because I failed to order it. See none of these lies, if revealed, would crack open a crevice and swallow someone whole. So, I take these as community service type fixes that keep us all together, functioning as a spirited group of human beings.

I think where most of us get into trouble, is when we lie about things that, if not revealed, continually tend to threaten and undermine who we are as a friend, daughter, mother, and lover. They burden us, whether we’re aware of it or not, and can stunt the beauty of realized potential, progress and growth.


Lying has its place, its occasion, its reason for being called into action. It can be as innocuous as a pen or equally as dangerous.