Thursday, February 9, 2012

Shifting Focus

Complaining only gets in our way.

So, why do we complain? I can come up with all sorts of viable reasons. It feels good. It makes us feel connected with others. We get confirmation that we’re not the only ones going through tough stuff. We receive the empathy of others, and let’s face it, empathy is comforting.

Some days we may just feel like caving in and say to the world, ‘come swaddle me in some comfort while I unleash the weight of the world onto your shoulders.’ We may invite a friend in to listen to our complaints, and before we know it, we’re both waddling around together in the same pool of anguish, both equally upset about our situations, both wishing we could right the wrongs of this illogical world and start fresh.

Gosh, if life only came with a magic eraser! Unfortunately, we can’t right certain wrongs regardless how ridiculous and unfair they are. We can’t make people see our plights with the same thoughtful eye with which we see them. We can’t change people.

If you’re like most people, you may even start to build a chip on your shoulder over the ignorance of others that insults you every day and over the bitterness that starts to erode your once lively spirit. Before long, you’re so deep in complaint mode, you are stuck. Stuck in the muck.

Many times we’re so rigidly focused on those things that spoil our spirits that we can’t see past the haze that pollutes our worlds. We don't even realize that if we look beyond the haze there is a whole lot of brightness that can help ease those things that eat away at our souls.

We must focus not on the haze, but on the brightness behind it. But how when the haze is so thick?

Well, by making a choice. We can choose to continue to complain and get the same null results or we can choose to shift our focus to things that make us feel good.

So try this - the next time the world is beating you up, and it will because that’s life, don’t stare at its mighty, impenetrable fists. Rather, cock your head to the side and latch onto the happy sights around, like the child giggling in the yard next door, or the dog wagging his tail, or the wounded warrior wearing a smile on his face, or the trees dancing in the sky. Take in all of the beauty in your peripheral view. It's waiting for you to take notice.

When you change your view, you transform your world.

Wishing you the best, 

I feel it's critical to support the community, and so I've committed to donate a portion of my book sale proceeds to the NOH8 Campaign (

Photography courtesy of T.A. Royce. If you are interested in purchasing any of the photos in this video, please contact photographer directly on Twitter @editor_girl.


becca said...

i agree if we switch our focus and look at things definitely what we may have been complaining about just may be something of a blessing. very inspiring post thank you

kez said...

There is always the positive sometimes it's just a little harder to find ...but look and one will find it ! ...loved this thank you x

Anonymous said...

GREAT Blog!! After reading this blog, I will have a new perspective come Monday at work. Alot of changes happening where I work, which has caused complaining and morale to be very low. After taking the time to read this blog, I will over come the changes at work and think of the positive side to these changes. One door closes and another one opens full of oppurtunity. Thank You for the AWESOME blog! I have opened my eyes wider and will focus on the bigger and brighter picture. Loved this blog!!

Thank You!

Warmest Regards,
Cindy Lou

Mondays with Mac said...

Such a good reminder. Thank-you.

Anonymous said...

Beautifully said Suzie. We can miss so much beauty around us just by not being prepared to look.

I taught myself to play that piece of music too. Just lovely!

Suzie Carr - novelist said...

Thanks to everyone who commented on this;) Life is beautiful and we're all on this journey together!